What’s a better way to partake in C A P I T A L I S M besides buying products? That’s right, becoming the product! With this new *~swanky~* application, just input basic information about yourself and obtain your product code! You can put this label anywhere on your body so that anyone from Big Brother can scan it at anytime to know the quick facts about you! Don’t worry about the lower classes rising up and closing your tabs, your data will always be available just where you left it! Just remember to put the label in an easy to reach and convenient place, because under C A P I T A L I S M time is money, and as a product your worth is based on how quickly you can do tasks. So come on down, get rid of that name that’s either so ubiquitous it is an inconvenience or so hard to pronounce and thus an inconvenience, and grab your new brand new unique product code!